Grateful for Sergio

“How ungrateful and presumptuous he is towards my generosity!” I fumed.  “I don’t want to give him anything!”  It was Thursday afternoon, and I was reacting to Sérgio’s response to a message I’d sent to him and the other friend who’d be traveling with us on Friday and Saturday.  My message inquired whether they liked any of the juice flavors I photographed, since they were left over from a recent event.

Recognizing the importance of resolving conflicts promptly, I sat on my bed to analyze my resentment, pray, and give Sérgio a call.  “I felt a bit offended at your message,” I explained.  “It came across as ungratefulness for my willingness to give you juice, which I consider to be a luxury item, and presumption that I need to go out and buy a different kind for you, since what I have isn’t the brand you prefer.”  I admitted that my emotions were colored by the ingratitude I’d sensed on a previous trip.

“Oh, that isn’t what I meant at all,” Sérgio responded graciously.  “I thought you were at the store, wanting to purchase juice for us and wondering which of the available kinds we liked.  I didn’t mean to imply that you were obligated to supply us with juice.”  “Ah, that explains it,” I replied, relieved.  “I can see how my photo appeared to be taken at a shop.  That makes perfect sense and resolves my concern.”  Sérgio apologized for coming across as ungrateful, I assured him that all was well, and we ended the call.

The next day as we drove to a Scripture memory contest in a neighboring province, Sérgio brought up the topic of unintentional offenses caused by cultural differences.  He acknowledged that locals here aren’t accustomed to expressing much gratefulness and conversely don’t expect to be thanked for their gestures of kindness, whereas a Westerner feels miffed if he is not thanked for his generosity.  While recognizing the value of gratitude, he shared that when he personally senses a desire for his sacrifices to be praised, it’s often rooted in a prideful quest for man’s applause rather than God’s.

Though Sérgio spoke in the form of personal testimony rather than pointing out sin in my life, his comments were exactly the rebuke I needed to hear.  I immediately saw that it was only because I was selfishly seeking man’s approval that his apparent lack of gratefulness had vexed me.  I zealously agreed with his reflections and prayerfully saved the fuller expression of my heart for the following day when the two of us could have a private conversation.

On Saturday evening, after dropping off our companion at his home, I informed Sérgio that God had used his tactful commentary regarding expecting thanks to reprove my self-centeredness that had manifested itself in my taking offense at his message two days earlier.  I confessed that the fault was actually mine and asked his forgiveness for complaining about his communication.  He forgave me for the concern I had caused him over the matter, and we both affirmed the value of openly expressing and resolving grievances.  I told him how grateful I am for him as a brother in Christ whom God uses to help me grow in sanctification.

Sérgio proceeded to thank me for the Scriptural reproof that I had given him in a different area several months earlier.  He stated that though he had been hardened against it at the time, he’d repented later when our pastor explained the same truths to him more clearly.  And he earnestly requested that I continue rebuking him whenever I see errors in his life.  His sincere humility melted me with affection for him.

As we approached his home, Sérgio spoke of his immense gratitude to God for our church, a profound blessing in his life.  He thanked me again for the money I’d given him months earlier after he’d requested the congregation’s prayers for a medical need his father had, marveling at how God uses the body of Christ to meet one another’s needs.  I myself marveled at the timing of that comment as I pulled up to his house and did what God had laid on my heart the previous day for that particular moment:  I pulled $15 out of my purse and handed it to him as an expression of my appreciation for him as a brother in the Lord.  His jaw dropped as he exclaimed that he didn’t have even 15 cents to ride the bus to church the next morning.  Rejoicing to be part of God’s hundredfold provision to my beloved brother Sérgio, I received his profuse gratefulness and bid him goodnight.

God is so kind to knit our hearts together as brothers and sisters in Christ.  Despite all our sins and shortcomings and cultural differences, the gospel binds us together with an unbreakable unity.  Sérgio, pictured here, has reviewed this blog post and allowed me to share it with you.  We hope that God will be glorified through this account of how He is fulfilling His Son’s prayer in John 17:21, “…that they may all be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me.”