Baby Shower

“My unavailability isn’t due to time constraints; it’s because I have been removed from my church’s membership, so I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to participate in the group.”  I was taken aback by the frankness of one of our singers when I approached her about re-recording, at a better studio, the song for our music video.  We’d met upon my arrival in Africa in 2018 and enjoyed reconnecting for the 2024 recording, but hadn’t maintained regular contact.  Breathing a prayer for wisdom, I asked if she’d like to share about her situation.

“I became involved with a guy and ended up pregnant.  When I told him, he said to get an abortion, but I refused because I’ve always wanted to be a mother, and also because it’s not right to commit one sin to cover up another.  He abandoned me, so I grew despondent and contemplated suicide, but thankfully my parents and a few friends supported me emotionally.  I’m now five months into my daughter’s gestation and feeling very alone.”  In our hour of messaging that October evening, I was touched by her openness and the apparent sincerity of her repentance, and she thanked me profusely for my Scriptural encouragement.  

When I checked back with her two months later, she was again languishing spiritually and emotionally, so I asked if we could talk in person.  She was ashamed to visit my church lest anyone knowing her to be unmarried notice her pregnancy, but love for her daughter ultimately inspired courage to break out of the isolation which wasn’t healthy for either of them.  In our extended conversation after worship, I helped her think Biblically about various aspects of her circumstances.

I also presented her with an idea which sprang from my American pregnancy center volunteer days:  Could I give her a baby shower?  I’d already recruited Leah, who is burdened to persuade her classmates against abortion, to cook and decorate for the event, and I knew our neighbor women would happily party with us.  My pregnant friend was so choked up with emotion that she couldn’t respond verbally to my offer, but her grateful sobs on my shoulder confirmed that a celebration of the precious new life which God had bestowed on her would be just the antidote to her dread of her impending delivery and single motherhood.

The big day was January 11.  Beautifully clad in all pink, she arrived punctually with her mother and a friend to ride with me out to my home.  We conversed on the porch as the family finished decorating inside.  When all was ready, the four of us, together with the women and girls from the two next-door neighbor households, processed inside — with an exclamation of “Wow!”  

Seventeen-year-old Leah had outdone herself.  Pink and white balloons, paper streamers, and tablecloths proclaimed joy at the baby girl who was soon to be born.  Gourmet chicken (“the best I’ve ever tasted!” said our guest of honor) with rice, scones, eggs, doughnuts, cakes, brownies, and other delicacies were elegantly spread before us.  I hadn’t even asked Leah about the menu; I’d simply bought the ingredients on the shopping list she’d handed me.  What an impressive party the teenager had created!

Opening the shower with prayer, I thanked the ladies for coming and gave each the opportunity to introduce herself.  We then feasted to our hearts’ content on the delectable treats.  Each guest who was old enough read a verse of Scripture and offered advice on parenting, from her own experience or observation of others.  I noted from II Timothy 1:5 how powerfully a Godly mother and grandmother can influence a child to grow strong in the Lord.  The baby’s grandmother lamented the disdain that members of their church, of which her husband is pastor, had shown towards her daughter’s out-of-wedlock pregnancy, and by contrast admired the lengths to which we, relative strangers, had gone to bless her with counsel and joy.

Realizing that most guests wouldn’t bring gifts, I’d prepared several of my own, including a baby dish set and a book of children’s Bible stories.  I introduced the ladies to the American tradition in which the guest of honor opens presents at the party and passes them around the circle for the guests to admire, instead of taking the wrapped items home as they would normally do.  When that process was completed, we ceremonially cut the cake and relished our dessert.  With a final prayer, we said goodbye and headed home.

Five weeks later, after a long and difficult labor, Názia was born on February 16.  Her name means “victory” and reminds her mother of the grace which God gives her to triumph through the trials brought about by her sin.  Another manifestation of this grace is her recent reinstatement as a member of her father’s church.  Please pray that she will always cling to Christ, walk in holiness, and overcome the challenges of single parenting to raise Názia to whole-heartedly serve Him.