More of Christ

“I’m asking God to give me the exhilaration about knowing Him that I can remember in my past more than I feel now,” I shared with a friend on November 26.  I was concerned that although my life and ministry seemed to be going well, my love for the Lord wasn’t as fervent as it used to be.  She replied that she had been praying similarly for herself and was planning to read through the entire Bible during the month of December, as a way to pour Scripture into her soul towards that goal.  Would I like to join her?

Though my month of December was looking busy, I prayerfully accepted the challenge, convinced that God’s Word was the pathway to knowing Him deeply, and that nothing else in my life was more important than that.  Between extended morning and evening reading sessions, I opened the Bible app on my phone during lunch and any other free moment.  The month-long immersion in God’s Word abundantly fulfilled my longing for a rekindled passion for Christ.  And the Bible burst into vivid colors as I raced from book to book, reading ahead of schedule to finish in 29 days!

That saturation in Scripture during December 2024 also left me thirsting to spend more time in prayer, so this year I’ve dedicated 30 minutes each morning to this pursuit.  I use lists to remind me of needs to bring before the Throne, and also request God’s intervention in a wide variety of matters, both big and small, that weigh on my heart from day to day.  I praise the Lord for His attributes and thank Him for the specific concerns He has resolved as well as unexpected blessings He has sent my way, often journaling to help organize my thoughts.

Half an hour isn’t as long as I could or perhaps spend in solitary communion with the Lord each day.  But at least it’s an increase from my previous schedule, and a sustainable commitment at this point in my life.  To my joy, it has increased my closeness with my Lord.  I’ve continued this prayer routine even in my current busyness of preparations for our annual pastors’ conference, when twelve-hour workdays are common.

In past years during conference season, stress has sometimes gotten the better of me, as I’ve occasionally collapsed into bed crying when urgent responsibilities pressed upon me.  I’ve tried to mitigate the strain through training others to assume more tasks, requesting that colleagues complete their duties earlier so I can do the same, limiting my work hours, and disconnecting myself from office matters when I’m away — though some of these measures have increased the burden on those around me.  I have also asked God to enable me to better manage my emotions during these hectic weeks.

This year, God is using my habit of focused, daily prayer to do just that.  The renewed intimacy with my Lord that I enjoy has been the perfect antidote to my anxiety, calling me to lean in and trust Him when I feel burdened by demands beyond my capacity.  Even when I can’t get the nametag dimensions adjusted properly or when shoddy translation puts the manual printing behind schedule, Christ is enough to satisfy the desires of my soul.  Please pray that I would keep my eyes on Him during the remaining preparations for and implementation of our pastors’ conference, which is scheduled for July 22-25.

Interestingly, I no longer feel the urge to flee from the office for relief from stress.  That’s because I’m realizing that the ultimate solution to the pressure I feel isn’t less of the conference work.  It’s more of Christ.