Third Father-Daughter Banquet

“Imagine that a man comes home drunk one day and beats his wife and children.  By the next day, he’s sober, and life returns to normal.  How should his daughter respond?”  I posed this question yesterday to 24 dads and their 43 girls at our third annual banquet.  Little did I know that one father there had done exactly that just days previously!

For our family, the previous days had been filled with banquet preparations.  Wednesday was the reservation deadline, so on Thursday we finalized the menu, made shopping lists, and withdrew money from the bank.  We also hired cooks, waiters, and drivers.  On Friday I printed our written materials and made three trips to the banquet’s rural setting to deliver the food, pots, decorations, and tableware.

The big day, Saturday, began with my fetching the waiters at the market at 6:30 am.  Then I brought out the tables in two trips, followed by miscellaneous supplies that the waiters found to be lacking as they set up for the event.  By 11:00 I was dressed up, and headed over to hear our head waiter train his colleagues in serving with excellence.  After a quick trip home to bring chilled soft drinks and juices from our refrigerator, I was ready early to receive our guests.  Alone in the elegantly prepared dining pavilion, I prayed at each table for all of its designated diners by name, asking God to bless their conversations and strengthen family bonds.

At 1:00 they began arriving, in our chartered vans as well as in their own cars, on their motorcycles, and on foot.  I brought each father with his daughter(s) to their assigned table, gave them a menu and a list of 20 suggested questions to guide conversation, and left them in the hands of our capable wait staff.  Our hardworking cooks, who’d started work the day before, had everything ready by 12:30, so there was no delay in serving our guests’ orders.  Making my way between the tables, I took photos, asked how the food was (good), and relished overhearing snippets of father-daughter conversations.

After eating, the family groups strolled around the lovely grounds and sat on secluded benches to converse.  I brought cakes from our home refrigerator, cut them, and served them into plates and bowls on a buffet table.  At 4:00 we invited our guests, who had meandered back to the dining area, to help themselves to dessert.  As they finished, I rose to give my annual speech, this time directing my comments to the girls.  I encouraged them to open up to their fathers in conversation, and to be patient with their fathers’ mistakes.

That’s also when I presented the case study of a drunken father who beats his family.  Though I didn’t know that such a man was in the audience, I was aware that this is a common problem in our culture.  Both fathers and daughters rose to offer suggestions, and I agreed with their consensus:  after a one-time occurrence, the girl should speak with her father respectfully when he is sober to point out his error, and the father should humbly ask forgiveness and mend his ways.  If the problem continues, the daughter should pray for her father, seek wise counsel, and collaborate with others in search of a solution.

As a fitting close to a beautiful day, the fathers presented artificial roses to their daughters.  Then Boniface closed in prayer and our guests took their leave with profuse expressions of gratitude.  As some waiters washed the dishes, I helped others dismantle the dining area and load the supplies into my truck.  I brought everything home in two very full loads, and I took the waiters back to the market where they could board public transportation.

You can imagine how tired I was when I finally got home close to 8:00 pm!  But I was also full of gratitude to God for the thriving relationships I see developing between these dads and their daughters over the course of our father-daughter events.  I believe He is answering my prayers in that regard.  Please join me in the continuation of those prayers.

Please pray especially for the father whose story I unwittingly told.  Though I don’t know his identity, I do know that he was moved by Boniface’s caring spirit when he, in his pastoral role, summoned the man to discuss the problem at his family’s request.  The erring father’s tender response in that meeting, and the fact that God moved me to use that example in my discourse, encourages me to hope for a work of grace in his life.  And that’s the very best kind of result we desire from our father-daughter banquet.